Calories 
Counting

My Story of My food disorder after the abuse had stopped.

The only thing I could control my weight,  and take back my body to what I looked like or what I saw which was overweight.   

I felt that my life after my Dad had gone to prison.  This is my health diet started.My family then new for my age i was overweight.  So at that time is when my vegetarian then vegan.  For 6 years I was vegan

My diet back then 

But when my mum went to supermarket I would bing on the food that we had bought.  I could not eat normal food.   Because that ment putting on the calories. I started to go vegetarian and then vegan for about 6 years.  

When i met my partner

Bulimia eating disorder is where you might binge on a lot of food at once and then be sick.

Feeling like you need to control things because in the past you had no control at all.

Dieting can control how you feel.  Stopping from eating can stop You might be feeling that you need to eat to keep going but once you eat any food you begin to start feeling things.

You might not like that so you might eat more to get rid of those angry or happy feelings that you don't want.

Feeling Scared.

That feeling might scare you and be totally out of your control.  Then you want to get rid of all those feelings to stop feeling out of control and throw up.

In the end is not good for your body because you are hurting yourself all over again but you are trying to stay in control.

NOW

There are lots of reason that for me restarted my food binge and  my weight is very overweight.  Instead of not eating I have realized that I am doing the opposite because for once I actually love eating home made fruit juice and I love celery. 

At present 51 years 

 I am overweight and my diet at present is eat lots of fish veg salad fruit exercise a little I.m disabled.

I don't know about but I've tried so many diet and now ofthem have made any sense until today January 19 year 24.  

Why today, there are so many different types of doctors physics and sometimes I have found that they talk nonsense.   Why have I said this because the day I have been put on a list to help me with balance and they mentioned something the other physio said not go do, also the wrong one hasn't sent any exercises.   

Do you feel thatlike me we have to look up things on the Internet for our own help.   Since being ill again and not getting help with my pain which now I need to wait until March and in the conversation you are pre diabetic which can be changed I have been watching a program on Facebook which to me is also helpful and seeing a health person.

Sometimes we have to make more choices make another changes and again until we find the balance we need.  None of us are the we are not robotics.