Amnesia.
When you have been abuse as a child you might get Amnesia and then you might not be able to remember any good memories because the past might have been so painful in your childhood. Also you could have amnesia because of an accident and lost you
My Story to You.
After the abuse I can not remember my mother teaching me anything. I know that my mother ignored me when I was ill. Mother has told me that Dad was the one to shout not her but I do not remember that. I do not remember if my mother ever cooked so on one of my pages I mentioned that about food.
The only way I know that maybe she did cook is by her saying she did. I remember licking the bowl after cakes were made but is all I remember. I have asked my mother what happened at home but I mentioned to her that because( I do not have any memory of what happened only the pain of the abuse) I do not believe her and my mother understands.
After the Abuse.
Where you have been in a car crash, or abuse, or a terrible ordeal, you might not remember anything about what was going on at the time because it was so painful and horrid. Your mind will protect you.
Sometimes sutiation in life can make memories comes. And sometimes it is too painful to remember and our minds protect us until it is safe enough to to remember.
I remembered recently a situation in my past that I had not healed enough from or have the guidance from my mother to help me me through a the time. So when I heard that I was going to the court to give a statement about some boys who have destroyed some garages I found it a bit of a shock. I began to remember going to the police station as a child with no one explaining anything about what was going on. My mother never explained anything to me and as a child you need to knwo what is going on. Children as questions
Amnesia: God's Help.
The Synagogue told me that I will heal with God's help.
A Jewish saying that I find very helpful. God's is everwhere you go and talking to Him in your mind is brilliant. .
Someone told me that the abuse I went through, made me some how forget what I learnt at school. But I was very good at maths and art, and once at history.
I don't know about you, but with amnesia, with me I had block some painful memories out, recenly I seemed to have member recently. Batmizvah I had years old was painful because I had to give a statement until 3 in the morning about what Dad had done.
2 days ago I had to go to court to be witness, and that remended me of giving a statement about DAd
Sometimes suitaions makes us remember thing in our past that does not make sense, but as adults we might begin to understand and I would like to change it. Each time I did sucessed at my studies and my mother seemed to not understand that when she spoke negatively or anything upsetting, I could not learn or concertrate any more.
You need to stay forced and sucessed at what you do and not let negative things get in the way.
I forgot that I loved doing well at card games, but I had to learn how not to win, so when play chess or any game, I want to win, I love the challenge of trying to win.
I hated having to lose at cards.
Cards games were very painful and I forget that or could not face playing cards because the past of not nice, but know in the present day it is very different.
Also my mother lost a very good friend 2 days ago very suddenly and they knew my Dad very well, and once stood up to him. Why am I writng this down for all of you, is beicase this event brought bakc memories that I had blocked because they were so painful. I had to remember what DAd did to me becasue to stop this unnecssary worrying of anxuisoness and know that know in the present that my life is different and NO one can hurt me again ,
When I was younger I used to comfort eat a lot, to hide what was going on at home. My back used to hurt when i was younger.
Tomorrow I am going to get my results for my back. My disc needs sorting out and whatever is stopping me walking. But exercise might be good. Operation not sure. At present I love my exercises had hopsital has not helped yet.
In order to recover and what happened to you you need to write this down remember carefully somewhere you feel safe and try to talk write whatever you feel comfortable and try to overcome the past in order to relax and enjoy life and not let the past control you.
Changing the past to NOW
When you can remember things , it is very painful but if you remember stuff in a safe in place like watching a film, which I have done it its. My great Uncle is dying near to death know and I I think I memorires have awoken up. When I was at school I was very anxoius bevause of exams becasue for some reaosn i could never pass them. I know that I am very dsxlyes, and in those days there was no help around so you find tools to help and at 15ish year I talk myself read.
But the other problem I had to over come was the fact that I as abused. I could not succeed at learning, becasue of the distrubance at home. So i became anxoisu of not knowing how to follow any dreams if I wanted to. i did keep in mind my maths, but my anxoius does take over around people. It isabout time it stoppped I wanted to succeed so much, so writing and helping all of you to overcome hurdles. I know that I am not stupid, but I accidentally look like it, when I am anxoisu. i love astronomy, stars and helping people, because i know how God has helped me so much and i would like to tell the everyone that.
I love card games and having fun with cards.
"Trust in God and I Will Not Fear."
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